I mentioned it briefly in my last post, but figured I would touch a little more on what my plans are for the near future.
In order to do so, we must go back a bit... to when I was young and first discovered two things in my life that I had a passion for. One of these being construction, which I suppose came from 'helping' my dad remodel and build an addition on to our house. I wasn't old enough to do much but hand him tools, but I remember the feeling of being there with him and waiting to see the end product. I later discovered that the appreciation was actually for architecture, the style - the design, and the feeling of connection to older structures and the history and the life within them. My other passion is photography and if you know my family... it is probably weaved somewhere in our DNA. ~My sister has more pictures of anything imaginable (even a deceased man in the park in Australia) and cameras are a perfect gift for any one of us on any occasion.~ I realized this appreciation I had when my dad let me take my first picture on his Kodak Brownie Starflex top viewfinder camera. The fact that I could capture what I saw and suspend it in time for others to appreciate was a powerful and humbling feeling. I knew then, that this is what I wanted to do... show others MY View through the lens.
Jumping ahead a bit... When I discovered I would be starting my family at the age of 20, I made the decision to go in the direction of construction as it seemed to be more stable than trying to be a freelance photographer, traveling the world while raising children. I never regretted that decision for one moment and my love for architecture grew into a career and ultimately my own business. I have been blessed to be the mother of 3 of the most wonderful children AND a proxy mother to 4 additional children. I am thankful that I've had BF by my side for the last 25 years. I am grateful for the 4 (soon to be 5) most wonderful, beautiful, G-Babies in the entire world.
I am humbled by the choice made for the next segment in my life. If you know me... you know I have spent almost my entire life relying on God, prayer and my faith in all of my decisions and this is no different. I feel a 'calling' to do what I'll be doing... leaving my home here in AZ in March 2012 to travel and explore the world; serving others through my photography, service work, my profession and most of all, my faith... indefinitely. This does not mean forever, this means until I am satisfied that I have done all I am supposed to do, need to do or want to do.
Having had a couple of years (or a lifetime) to contemplate this next step in my life, I thought of the questions that may be asked and almost everything that someone would say to me.... and I contemplated what each person might think of my choice. It wasn't so much that I was concerned with what others may think... but more for processing my own feelings and thoughts. As I have shared my plans with several people, it has been interesting to hear the responses from family and friends when I tell them of my plans to leave home, travel the world, serve people and do photography.
Following are a few of the responses I have received, along with my reply or thoughts to each one. A few have been exactly what I thought they might and some have not... but, I guess nothing has surprised me. : )
"I'd like to help others more ~ I want to go!"
*If you would like to help others, then do so. If you want to go, then go. I appreciate the sentiment behind this and felt like this my entire life. I am now acting on it and if anyone else feels this way... they should follow their hearts as well.
"So, you're going to go to Europe to do photography?"
*Yes, I am. In addition to the MANY other things I hope to accomplish, this is one of them. The type of photography I'll be doing is a big part of my journey and I hope it plays an even bigger part in what I would like to accomplish. I will not be living each day to find the perfect photo, but rather living each day to find the perfect moment and hope that through a photo I can show others what I see.
"You're running out on your family?"
*No, my family is ALWAYS with me no matter where I am. My children are all grown, have lives of their own and support me in this decision. BF and I have always had a great relationship and although this may be difficult... he supports me as well. If you feel that I am running off, then please talk with me to gain an understanding of what I'm doing. If you still don't understand, then wish me well and go about your life.
Side Note on this: My younger sis said exactly this to me, but later called me to 'apologize' for this being her first reaction. She then said to me that 'this must be what you are meant to do because you handled my comment with such grace'. This meant more to me than she will ever know. Nobody has ever told me I had grace... how humbling. I love you sis!
"I am jealous... I want to do that too."
*This has to be the response that I have the hardest time with. I am not a fan of the word 'jealous' and I don't think others should feel this way EVER! This says to me that you have a grudge against me and are resentful of my choice. How could anyone ever be resentful of any work done for God or for someones own personal well being? Be happy for me... and if you want to do something that makes you happy - do it, but don't be jealous, ever!
"How are you going to afford that? How much is it going to cost?"
*This is a question that I find distasteful coming from anyone that does not contribute to my financial security. If you are interested in contributing to my journey, I am more than happy to accept any contribution and to share this information with you; however, do not question someones finances just out of curiosity. It's rude.
"Why not Arkansas? There are needy people there."
*I was actually asked this exact question and only once. The person who asked it did so from a concerned, loving heart... so my following response doesn't apply to her. : ) But...
What I HAVE heard, more than once, is... 'There are plenty of people here in the U.S. that need help, why not help your own people rather than people from another country?'. My answer to that is that I do not now, nor ever have, think that one person is better than another... no matter where you come from. My family, only 3 generations back, came from England. BF's family, only 2 generations back, came from Sweden. My girls family, only 4 generations back, came from Germany. I have 4 proxy children from several different countries. Just because I have made a decision to travel outside the US and what I will be doing is serving others... do NOT get on your high horse and preach about something YOU are not, have not or will not do! You have no idea what I have contributed to right here in my own backyard. If you asked this question, or made this statement, then my response to you is... "You are absolutely correct! People in the U.S. need help... GO HELP THEM!"
I am so excited to start this next step of my life and look forward to the people I will meet and the experiences I will have. Being able to touch ONE life with the word of God is almost overwhelming... and I pray that I do exactly that.
Well... enough explanation and chiding for now.
til my next post... jlk
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